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Please note: this e mail contains subject matter known in the state of California to cause reproductive harm and erectile dysfunction
Hello all you fathers and children of Fathers out there. We just wanted to take a moment out of our lives and talk about something near and dear to our hearts:
By now, some of you may have heard the rumors that there is a new Killer Sales Manager in town, and that we plucked him from his comfortable position in charge of Production and put him in charge of the ravenous beasts we call our Shade Whisperers.
Now complete with brain teasers, love anecdotes and even a few tauntings. Read, comment or if you are really daring make a complaint.
E.J Brasington "Shade Whisperer", Just brought another shade whisperer into our happy family. Notice the mini shade structure? Way to go dad! Congrats!!
We know you do and we'll just keep on asking 'til you give them up! Do we have to remind you that we are too cheap to advertise and too lazy to find shadey projects all on our own - so here is your chance to be Killer and hook us up. If you have anything, give us a ring or just drop our main man Vince Zuckerman at vincez@killershade.com
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"Please won't you shade the children!"
Project Name: Architect/Client: Story:
whew...where do we start? Is it from when Jim Tofel called and said he knew of a school with very little money that needed help? Or back further to when Mike Boyle stepped out of the shower that morning and said..."today I will shade the un-shadeable". (He was very naked when he said that by-the-way) OK...basically Tofel construction and Killer shade helped out a school that needed help...and by "help" we mean we gave them a tiny discount due to pity and because we're still trying to make up for running over that hobo outside of Salt Lake
Chuck Norris Fact: What Mike Boyle overheard our client say:
Next Month... by reading this fine print you have waived all rights to monetary compensation for any pain or anguish caused by the offensive nature of this e- mail.
"Frankly, you may not be worthy"
OK all you Killer Fans/Stalkers, it's time for a serious conversation. You really dropped the ball. Were's the killer input? We graced over 1,000 of you with our delightful newsletter last month at no charge and got dozens of responses telling us how it is was the best email you got all month and how you can't wait for the next one (along with one jerk who wanted to unsubscribe!! What kind of psychopath wouldn't want these droplets of fun in his or her life??). ***Disclaimer: Ridicule possible if you suck!
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Anyone can make shade, that's a fact, Jack.
Why Killer? because we like to brag about our 8 inch/ SCH 40 pipe that weighs 28.55 pounds per foot, we are arrogant. But more importantly we feel the Real reason behind why you want us is just that...we are Real honest, Real people, and Real good at what we do. The Real reason could be that you heard how much fun customers have when they do business with us...yes it is true you can mix business with pleasure. We are extremely Passionate about creating long lasting relationships. One of the ways we do this is we are dedicated to making the product right the first time. We are not going to put something cheap up and take your money. We are Passionate about making a high quality, long lasting product and then taking your money. You decide the reason, We’ll make it happen. - This is why we're killer! Just go to www.killershade.com and fill out a quote request to begin your shade adventure!
Boyle Clinches Sexiest Bio Poll Mike Boyle has the Sexiest Bio on www.killershade.com. No need to call in for recounts, the people have spoken and we're sticking to it! Also, we are sticking to our promise of black mail pictures as well...Enjoy Boyle fans!
Who has the most "Killer" Nickname?
The Killer Polls are officially open and we need your votes today! You've heard us brag about how our Killer Team is made up of some of the best talent around! However, you can't do it on talent alone. As we all know, you need a Killer nickname to truly stand out. So now it's your turn to weigh in. We want you to tell us which one of our rockin' team members has got the the most Killer Nickname. Read our sexy bios and cast your vote now! Your vote does count and will make a difference. Winner will be featured in our next edition with accompanying black mail pictures of course! . We are Killer Shade and we approve this message.
If you don't want to receive this e-mail just let us know...but it means you're not cool (like Canada). Just Scroll on down to the bottom of this email to have your name removed off our list. |
