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HELLO ALL YOU KILLERS OUT THERE Welcome to the global inaugural first ever Killer Shade newsletter. Just a quick heads up to let you know what you can expect: 26% truly funny things, 16% shameless promotion, 10% stuff we think would be funny but just didn't land, 6% useless knowledge, 14% useful knowledge, 22% more information than you would have ever wanted to know about us, 12% bragging about how good we are at foosball and how much fun we have around here (84% of which is true) 3% made up statistics, 18% begging for things and 84% rants on stuff that no one will listen to us about in person anymore. If you like it tell everyone you know, if you don't like it, tell us to go away and we will take our toys and go home (i.e. take you off our list, have a moment of silence for our loss and move on).
BRAND SPANKIN' NEW SUPER FANTASTIC WEBSITE
Juicy blogs, steamy video, delicious product, naughty pictures, sexy employee bios, killer thoughts...it's shadetacular so take a peak!
Jim Jessup, Killer Sales Overlord, joined kicking and screaming on 1/7/2008. Stats: 6'5" 250 lbs of pure love. Turn-ons: you'll just have to read the bio to find out!
Proud mama and kick butt Killer estimator Tiffany "Caboose" Sands gave birth to beautiful Riley Jade Sands on 12/27/2007 weighing in at 5 lbs 15 oz and measuring 20.25" in length...come to think of it...this new Killer addition has been here for well over two months and hasn't contributed at all- get to work!!!
In addition to asking you for referrals every nine seconds we are going to blatantly use you all for your vast network. Every month we are just going to throw some random crap we are looking for in here and see if our devoted fans will come to the rescue or just leave us out here hanging and feeling a little sheepish. This month we're moochin' for work we can do right now! We have BLAZING fast lead times if you buy now!! Contact our Sales Overlord Jim Jessup at jimj@killershade.com
That's right, Killer Shade is now fabricating and installing, twisty, sexy cool shade structures throughout Las Vegas and surrounding areas. (view all locations) |
SHADE OF THE MONTH
Project Name
Location Architect/Client: Unique Challenges Client overheard saying
Note: No Alice...they are not Chinese Headwear (it's art, stupid)...There are like 30 of these (slightly less actually) of all different shapes and sizes hanging from various points - we really hope they don't fall down...Danny's has great lawyers and deep pockets. See You Next Month when we send out the 2008 calendar featuring our very own Mike Boyle in various locales around the world and in various states of sexiness i.e. "clothing optional" (we're just waiting on approval from HR)
GOT A THIRST FOR REFERRALS! CAN YOU QUENCH IT?
Listen up people we are going to shoot straight with you. We want you to tell us about all the yummy shade jobs that you know about that we might not. It pains us to see a sexy job go up that we didn't bid on (makes us crazy). We are too cheap to advertise and too lazy to find them all on our own- so here is your chance to be a Killer hero and hook us up. If you have anything, give us a ring or just drop our brand new Sales Manager Jim an email (we will pay the postage) at jimj@killershade.com. Note: If you don't have any spectacular shade projects, you are welcome to just drop us a line, say hello, share a good recipe, joke or comment on how fabulous we are...
IN THE NEWS AND BRAGGING ABOUT IT
Hey everybody, look how important we are (by important, we mean media whores). Mike Campion is one step closer to his dream of reaching fame status! So Sexy! ~ Octane Article |
WANTED! KILLER TALENT. HUGE REWARD. FAME AND FORTUNE!!
We have put together a rockin' team (check out their sexy sexy bio's) and are so blessed we get to work with so much talent and such truly cool people, but we do have a spot to fill and who better to help us then our good friends (we like to call you bringers of money)?? So here it goes, we need a Lead Installer - someone who can lead people and understands what it takes to get jobs done on time and as spec'd. So if you know anyone that would fit our Killer Culture and is a crack leader (preferably with some experience in leading install crews, playing with big holes, huge posts and yards of concrete) drop our main man Vince a line at vincez@killershade.com or visit our career page. Oh, and the reward claim was all smoke and mirrors so you'd read on. Kisses.
Hey! Pay attention. Our employees are the best and we want to take a moment to memorialize the glorious day they were born. Please hold your applause 'til the end. Presents are welcome. Tiffany Sands 2/14
SIMMONS CONSTRUCTION Mike Boyle's Top Five Reasons Why Simmons Construction Rocks!
That's right, we're blogging for shade and a whole bunch of other nonsense that you'll just have to read about on the killer blog. And yes, Mike Boyle will be blogging, but don't bother with the hate mail, we can't keep up with what we have now, so go to the site (www.killershade.com/blog) take a look at the blog and add your own touch of brilliance. Keep in mind when adding to the Killer Shade website, there is an excellent chance you will be mocked, even if you spend lots of money with us. Buyer beware. Don't suck!!!
WIN A FREE KILLER SHADE You'll just have to watch the video to find out!
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