If some of my last blogs gave you a mental hernia, try this challenge.

See if you can get your mind around this:







28 May, 2008 | jhaitmySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=72: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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Pound for Pound the Best Killer of Them All

Ok loyal reader, I am going to have to level with you. This concept for the blog was all based on the picture above of one of our favorite Killers Mindy Kirkpatrick, but now you have seen the picture anything I have to say will be a letdown...

That said listen up as I shamelessly promote Mindy (if you would like to further stalk her go here- ).

To know Mindy is to love her. Unless you owe us money. Then she is a little scary. Honestly, I don't owe her anything and I am a little afraid of her...

That's pretty much it folks, just wanted to take an opportunity to post one of my favorite Killer pictures and tell the world I am in love with Mindy. Not in a grown up, lets move in and have kids sort of way, but more in a I am so happy she is on our team even though we aren't going to raise your pay sort of way... If you would like to share your own Mindy love story feel free to post a comment.



24 May, 2008 | mcampionmySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=68: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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Hey Kids....this is a real letter I recieved on 5-21-08...I removed her name (former employee), but otherwise it's totally unchanged...misspellings and all. wow!
Mike


Mr. Boyle,

Having a small glimpse into your professional life, I have this belief that your newsletter, if submitted to your business clients, will be a major decline in sales. Please remember that your clients want to see professionalism in all corresponds they receive from their vendors. I understand the great sense of humor you may have, but in writing that sense of humor never comes through and only the people who have come to know you and work with you, personally, know what a wonderful person you truly are.

Please remove all videos of drinking from your newsletter links and anyone who are professional will find that your sexy video site is extremely unprofessional. Hey, the clue here is sleaze doesn’t sell unless you are selling sexual products and services.

Your newsletter is unwarranted and extremely offensive to all consumers.

I will always champion you, no matter what your endeavors bring you in this lifetime, but only if you can address then in a professional manner.

As always, I welcome any comments or any questions regarding business development and retention.

Best regards,



21 May, 2008 | mboylemySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=70: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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So I'm sitting on the curb with Mr. Boyle (like we do), and talking about what we can do to get those lazy Shade Whisperers to bring in more checks. Boyle is rambling on and on (like he does) about how Great Vince Zuckerman is and what a good leader he is and how he would follow that guy into a burning building. His eyes water up and he says wistfully "if only we had someone like Vince to lead our sales team..."

That is when my comprehensive grasp of the obvious sprang into action. We have a VInce Zuckerman right here on our Killer team!! Long story short, begging, promises of fame and glory ensued. Vince is our brand new sales manager. "How can I be a part of this amazing heart wrenching story?" You ask yourself (if you aren't totally devoid of feeling that is). Glad you asked, here is a list, get started!!

1) Post some sort of encouraging words here to let Vince know how excited we are for him
2) Buy something to make him look good at his new post
3) Post some sort of scandalous detail about Mr. Zuckerman here to stir up some controversy!


21 May, 2008 | mcampionmySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=65: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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Here is a puzzle for you.
Now you might say; "Why in the world would I want to do a puzzle, I'll save the puzzles for the people with buff brains."
Consider this: you probably go to a gym and sweat in front of a wall covered with mirrors, telling yourself that this is what your heart needs to keep you out of the ICU.
Just maybe if your brain sweats a little once in a while, old age dementia won't catch up to you and you will not be forced to watch Lawrence Welk for hours on end in some rest home devoid of familiar faces.

Help me figure out the area here. cxc = ?

We know that tha area of a triangle is ab/2. If you have four triangles the same the area would be 4(ab/2) which simplifies to 2ab

Here is a drawing with 4 right angle triangles all the same dimension, put together in a wierd way.



Using these triangles to figure area, we know
2ab + (b-a)² = c² ............((b-a)² represents the area of the little square in the center.) Let's simplify:
2ab + b²-2ab+a² = c² or
a² + b² = c²

Congratulations you have just proved the Pythagorean Theorem. True, it may be little more than yesterday's news (or news of 2500 years ago), but just think, your brain is better off.

"Thang you thang you, thang you Larry Hooper, thang you boys and girls."


21 May, 2008 | jhaitmySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=63: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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Recently someone indicated that maybe, it would be nice if some artistic enhancements could be added to our solid model renderings.

We could add, for instance, "Cardboard Claude" to the pic. (You know the little 2 dimensional guy that architects always use, WHO is always walking and not going anywhere)....

Choosing subject matter to add is really difficult, it is so subjective. One has to get into the mind, the psyche of the customer. After all, a sports figure helps sell a box of Wheaties and a toucan sells a box of Fruit Loops. (They are pretty much the same thing....(double meaning))

Since such symbolism is so important, and so subjective, I've decided to include some do-it-yourself enhancements.
Feel free to clip and use one or all. (You didn't want me in your mind anyway, did you?)........I'll leave that to the Shade Whisperers.



15 May, 2008 | jhaitmySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=60: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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(Phx AZ…today 11:07 AM )

Mike Boyle…a consultant for Phoenix based canopy / tensioned fabric designer Killer Shade has his sights on the Ford Iron Man Triathlon set to take place next April in Tempe AZ. The Grueling Swim / Bike / Run of over 140 miles has been known to kill lesser men, but he seems to be unaffected. “I’ve been sleeping a lot lately”…says Mr. Boyle in a smoky baritone that wraps the listener in its velvety embrace…”plus I’ve been trying to drink 4-5 beers every night to get my liver ready for the big day…I think I’ll prove that I have what it takes to be an ‘Iron Man’ ”

When told that the Iron Man was an athletic event Mr. Boyle had no comment


14 May, 2008 | mboylemySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=58: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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Too good to be true? Read on. Early in my ten year tenure as a business owner, I thought hiring was just a matter of having a need, paying enough money to get the person you wanted and then telling them what to do. If they can’t or won’t do it, just push harder.

When I started Killer Shade, I had given up trying to be “professional” and put on the face I thought the world wanted to see. It took giving up, taking off the mask and letting the world know who we were and exactly what kind of people they were dealing with.

Instead of finding seemingly random people and trying to force them into doing and believing what we wanted them to do and believe, we started attracting people that already believed what we believe and were attracted to us for that very reason. Instead of the life draining effort of trying to get another human being to buy into our culture we seemed to be attracting people that were already passionate and excited about the very same things we were. This made going to work a much more energizing and profitable endeavor.

Long blog short:

Employers-
Step 1: Be who you are in all situations, don’t try to be the company you think your customers want.
Step 2: Watch and enjoy as customers, employees and even vendors line up to join your cause.
Step 3: Realized the value of what you just read and buy some Killer Shade (buy early, buy often)

Employees-
Don’t just take a job for a paycheck and live life fighting the urge to choke the life out of your boss/ customer/ co-worker. Find a company whose values align with yours and live happily ever after!


13 May, 2008 | mcampionmySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=57: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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12 May, 2008 | mgravesmySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=55: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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Why pay more than you have too?
Here it goes a BLOG
Write something technical,
Have you seen some of our blogs?
It all goes back to,You get what you pay for.
If people want to pay the cheapest price, well lets face it,
You will get the cheapest product.

What happens when your product falls apart?
Recently, one of those unhappy customers called us,
and instead of saying we told you so.
We offered a much better solution than the customer's request.
We promised them a quality product and that everything is going to be all right. http://www.mytherapybuddy.com/whoneedsbuddy.shtml


Well that's it.
Don't worry


12 May, 2008 | mgravesmySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=54: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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Each customer is different. Some prefer shade that is more functional than “fashionable.” However, in our killer industry we run into a lot of customers that are more concerned with the shade being aesthetically pleasing (i.e. “artsy”) as well as functional.

For all you customers out there that want something artsy, we highly recommend stainless steel hardware. We buy our hardware from Ronstan (shout out to our awesome Australian sales rep). On their website they specify that their hardware for fabric architecture is designed to enhance a “style of architecture that is becoming extremely popular.” Using stainless steel hardware for cable supported structures offers simplicity to tensioning the fabric as well as style to the overall structure.

Judge for yourself.....Below is a picture of just a simple shade sail that we used stainless steel hardware for. Take notice of how the hardware doesn’t add any additional “bulkiness” to the sail but is very sleek and provides great tension on the fabric.




09 May, 2008 | tsandsmySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=44: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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Thats right folks, we figured out how to make a blog!! Now we can scream to the world anytime any inane thought crosses our mind. Anyway as head Janitor for Killer Shade, I just wanted to put you all on fair warning that we have given many of the killer employees the tools and training to post their own blogs, and I have to be honest with you- it's not all going to be pretty...

Either way, we are here, we are shade geniuses and we need money. So read, post and for crying out loud buy something!!

Go Broncos
Mike Boyle smells
In retrospect the Shaq trade was probably bad
I think I like Google better than Microsoft
I think EJ shaves his arms

09 May, 2008 | mcampionmySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=42: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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Even without knowing Pythagorean’s Theorem, we know he was a smart guy. After all, he had to learn to spell his name in the first grade. His friends probably called him “Pith” for short, which in turn forced him to be an overachiever to overcome such a diminutive name. Thus we now have the “Pithy” Formula.

This blog is for the little guy. There is a lot of misleading information out there regarding formulas. In most cases, the formulas are so long that you can’t even remember them. This formula can be used when you have to match a uniform arch of existing architecture without resorting to taking a cardboard template. And by no means, don’t just listen to me….follow the math and prove the formula correct.

The Pythagorean Theorem is C² = A² + B²


Given A and B (B = width of arch/2)

Therefore, R² = (R-A)² + B²

To simplify this using basic algebra:

((R-A)(R-A) = R² - 2RA + B²)

Thus, R² = R² - 2RA + A² + B²

0 = -2RA + A² + B²

2RA = A² + B²

Finally…..

R = (A² + B²)/2A


09 May, 2008 | jhaitmySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=40: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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(Phx AZ - May 8)

For those of you who can remember the $200.00 hammer and $350.00 toilet seat, this story will have a certain ring to it. Apparently Local Custom Canopy designer/manufacturer Killer Shade recently ordered 40 rolls of single ply toilet paper for the astronomical price of $400.00!!
When asked to comment, most Killer Shade employees would not speak to us – saying that if they talked to the media ”HE” would punish them…not revealing who “HE” was
One employee, Mike Boyle, did follow us out to our vehicles saying he would trade information on the story in return for us sneaking him out of the Killer Shade Compound in the trunk of our vehicle “you’ve got to help us” he stated “It’s like Colorado city in here”

There was a single tear in his eye as we drove away…



08 May, 2008 | mboylemySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=38: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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"Actually it's mostly me" states Mike Boyle of local Custom Shade designer/fabricator Killer Shade..."I'm really the eye candy around here....most of the other employees are dissapointing...It's really a lot of pressure. I have to work out and do cardio all the time...but my wife is happy. I'm gonna buy her some new boobs you know"

No other Killer Shade employees could be reaced for comment

07 May, 2008 | mboylemySQL error with query SELECT COUNT(*) FROM blog_nucleus_comment as c WHERE c.citem=36: Table './killersh/blog_nucleus_comment' is marked as crashed and should be repaired

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